I’m using only the JB2, so I’ve not added an H-Pill or X upgrade.  For those of you who don’t know, Burger sells tuners in the following iterations: Stage 1 (JB1), Stage 2 (JB2), and now the beta form of Stage 3 (JB3).   With the JB2, you can add Hot Pills (JB2H or JB2HH) that take advantage of 93/94 octane gas to offer up even more power.  The X upgrade goes even further by allowing up to 16 psi of boost with race gas.  With just the JB2, you can get around 11 psi of boost plus remapping of the air/fuel ratios for gains of around 40+ hp and 50+ lb ft of torque.  Hot Pills will raise the gains to 50 hp and 60 lb ft, respectively.  Burger just recently released the new JB3, which shows gains of 80+ hp and torque and is compatible with BMW latest ECU and software. 

Installation of the JB2 is not difficult if you follow the instructions (downloadable with pics) to the letter and pay attention to detail.  You will have to remove various underhood components to get to the ECU.  Once you open up the ECU, you have to install the JB2 by connecting its wires to certain pins within the ECU’s harnesses.  Always double-check your pins.  Then, you will have to bypass the left boost solenoid. The installation procedure took me quite some time because I was constantly double-checking my work, but it was well worth the extra effort. 

Once I installed the JB2 and checked to make sure no check engine light (or “half-engine” limp-home modes) showed up, I put the rest of the engine bay back together.  Then I went for a drive.  The car seemed to have some more power all over its already vast powerband.  After a few days of driving, it seemed to get even more powerful, as if the ECU was somehow “learning” the JB2.  At this point, I am experiencing a substantial seat-of-the-pants difference that really seems to confirm Burger’s claim that the JB2 adds 40+ horsepower. 

Power is as smooth as the factory, with the same powerband.  There is no peakiness, spikes, or jerkiness. In fact, the car is markedly less jerky in first gear, which used to require a lot of concentration to prevent the car from bucking especially when cold.  I ended up with the factory powerband, but it is much much fatter than it was before.  For example, the 335 now takes off with real alacrity in 6th gear on the highway; it will put you back in your seat whereas before it merely moved away with reasonable dispatch.

While driving, I did notice what appeared to be some additional “throttle delay” or even lag when aggressively transitioning from off-throttle to judicious application of throttle.  Burger has a boost solenoid kit that may alleviate this effect, and I just ordered it. 

The JB2 has some slightly different instructions if your car was built March 2008 or later, or it otherwise has the 29.2/v81ECU.  So you need to pay attention to your build date, or confirm that your dealer did not download the 29.2 software into your ECU.  Links:

Burger Motorsports:

http://www.burgertuning.com

N54 Tech:

http://www.n54tech.com/forums/

Most of us are familiar with the movie Death Proof which is one of the two Grindhouse movies, the other being Planet Terror.  Robert Rodriguez directed Planet Terror while Quentin Tarantino directed Death Proof.  Death Proof centers around a stuntman played by Kurt Russell, who drives around in a flat black Nova engineered and built to prevent the driver from getting injured or killed during dangerous stunts.  Hence the car is “death proof.” The stuntman stalks pretty girls and then uses his death proof car to kill them, which shows the viewer that the car is indeed death proof, but only for the driver.  This pattern continues until he crosses Rosario Dawson and her friends who all happen to be models who can inexplicably kick some major ass.   Fun movie, especially when watched in conjunction with its companion, Planet Terror.

What does this movie have to do with a Brabus-prepped C-Class?  Look at it.  Death Proof is the only description that could fit this beast. It is almost flat black (actually a special paint that is an expensive option).  Brabus then applied a somewhat subtle aero package, added real hood vents, and flared the fenders.  But so much for cosmetics, the engine’s got the biggest news.  Brabus shoehorned a 6.3 litre twin-turbo Mercedes V-12 (called the Brabus SV12S Biturbo) under the C’s hood.  This juggernaut of a powerplant cranks out 730 bhp, for a power-to-weight ratio of 5.6 lbs/hp.  It has so much tourque that Brabus electronically  limited it to 811 lbft to prevent owners from vaporizing the entire driveline. 

To handle the power, Brabus upgraded the suspension with stiffer springs, shocks, sway bars, and bushings.  Special black 19″ wheels carry 265/30′s in the front and 285/30′s in the back.  Bigger brakes were also added together with 12-piston front calipers to aid stopping power; carbon-ceramic rotors are an option.  This missile will clear 60 mph in under 3.9 seconds with a quarter-mile time that may dip into the 11′s if you can hook it up.  The Bullit tops out at an electronically limited 225 mph.   Finally, you’ll of course need to pay for all this, to the tune of around $520,000.00.  The jury’s still out as to whether or not it would be feasible to federalize the car, so we may not see it in  the US.  This car is Death Proof merely by virute of its ability to toast anything that may be trying to “kill” it.

So now you see what I mean by Death Proof.  An elegant, beautiful car like a Veyron or even a Ferrari does not bring the term Death Proof to mind.  But a dark, brutally fast, preferably flat-coated car does. The Lamborghini Reventon stirs up thoughts of Death Proof, for example.  The Bullit does the same thing, but with its own twist–all 811 lbs.ft. of it.

Grindhouse:

http://www.grindhousemovie.net/

Brabus:

http://www.brabus.com/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLgwiQwGRcU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yb8gKQJQoN4

DINAN

Steve Dinan is very thorough to say the least.  His company took a long time to introduce its software download for the N54, and for good reason.  Dinan painstakingly researched and developed this software so it would not harm the engine.  Sure, it delivers a big bang at the dyno: 384 hp and 421 lb.ft. of torque.  But it also optimizes fuel and air mixtures at all rpm’s, increases the water pump’s flow as rpm increases, and has a lot of other features that make it safe for your engine.  You must have an oil cooler (factory or other), and Dinan even makes a higher-capacity oil cooler, along with an intercooler.  There’s an even hotter version out there, which requires the Dinan oil cooler, intercooler, and free-flow exhaust good for 398 hp and 429 trq. If you simply don’t want to buy an oil cooler, there is a milder stage 1 version, that still delivers useful gains.  If you want the full monty, Dinan will incorporate the engine mods into a Signature Package that includes their amazing suspension upgrades.  Dinan is expensive (about $2K for the download alone), but they have a warranty, and you do get what you pay for.

http://www.dinancars.com/store/Engine-Tuning-p-1-c-413.html

TURNER MOTORSPORT

Like Dinan, Turner Motorsport offers a software download product.  You have to remove the computer and ship it to Turner, where they reflash it and send it back.  You’ll get a good +40 hp over stock; Turner’s dyno pull indicated 367 hp when corrected for driveline loss.  This reflash increases boost, adjusts the throttle, and changes fuel and spark mapping.  It costs around $1600.00.  I’m inclined to think this is another superior product, especially given Turner’s extensive history developing and racing BMW’s. 

http://www.turnermotorsport.com/html/subcategory_detail.asp?modelcode=E92&subcat_id=20

VISHNU PROcede

This is a “piggyback” system that consists of a computer and harness that plugs into the BMW factory plugs.  It has been on the market for quite some time, and it now in its third version (v3). This product produces some really big gains: it should get you 390-400 hp according to the website.  Owners who have installed this system are all over the forums and blogs, and they seem very impressed.  Vishnu often chimes in on thses blogs offering product advice and support. The system has some user-specific configurations, including a “valet mode” that puts the car close to stock.  Vishnu also offers upgrades to the intake and an exhaust system.  The baseline price is around $1495.00 for the PROcede, more if you go to a Stage 1 engine package, etc. 

http://www.vishnutuning.com/bmw_zero.htm

BURGER MOTORSPORTS JUICE BOX

The Juice Box comes in a few different forms: the Stage 1 (JB1), Stage 2 (JB2) and the JB2 with “hot pill” and “X” upgrades for even more power.  The JB1 claims 20-30 hp and 30-40 trq. gains at the rear wheels.  The JB2 claims 40+ hp and 50+ trq. gains at the rear wheels.  Once you add a “hot pill” the gains increase even more, but you will have to run 93-94 octane (JB2H and JB2HH).  The “X” upgrade can be added to further increase boost, even allowing 16 psi with race gas mapping.  The Juice Box appears to be getting some good customer reviews, also.  The best part is the price: $99 for JB1, $379 for JB2.  There will be a JB3 soon. Looks like bang for the buck to me!

http://www.burgertuning.com/products.html

ACTIVE AUTOWERKE ACTIVE PROCESSOR

Active Autowerke has some experience with boosted Bimmers.  For the N54, they are marketing the Active Processor, which is a “plug ‘n play” type installation.  The processor can allow for “map switching” to tailor the system to the customer’s needs.  Active claims 55+ rwhp and 70+ retrq. gains with the sotck exhaust.  All for the relatively reasonable price of $795.00.

http://www.activeautowerke.com/viewproduct.aspx?id=Product73

SPLIT SECOND TURBO TUNER

The Split Second Turbo Tuner is available from Bavarian Autosport and some other websites.  It appears to be the easiest to install, with just two wiring harnesses.  The SSTT claims an increase of 40 hp over stock.  It works in the same ways as the other piggyback systems, although it doesn’t appear to modify all the parameters they do.  The word is that the SSTT will rpoduce most of its gains at lower rpm’s, and the horsepower increase is mainly the result of a “spike,” and is not spread as evenly across the rev range as the others, especially the JB2.  Six Hundred Bucks. 

http://www.bavauto.com/shop.asp

MORE COMPAROS…..

I listed what appear to be the most popular software upgrades for the reader to peruse.  I really know next to nothing about computers, code, etc., so I can’t get into too much detail without ending up writing something that is totally wrong.  There is a wealth of information on the forums and blogs that has a lot more detail, and even objective empirical analysis.  The bottom line is you have to do the research and decide which product is the best for you and your budget.  And remember, be careful with increased boost.  Also, be careful with your car: you may have an N54 with the v29.2 (Progman) ECU; some systems will simply cause the ECU to throw a limp home code with v29.2, and possibly void your warranty.  Here are some links:

http://forums.bimmerforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=906486

http://forums.bimmerforums.com/forum/showthread.php?p=12366569

http://www.n54tech.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1515

The original M1 arrived in the late ’70′s and early ’80′s as the brainchild of Paul Rosche, head of BMW Motorsport.  The car was supposed to be a homologation racer, and it was somewhat successful at that endeavor.  The design was by Giugiaro and most of the body production took place in Italy.  It was powered by the BMW M88/1 inline-6, longitudinally mid-mounted, which produced around 277bhp in roadgoing form. Racers, especially with turbos saw between 750-850 bhp.  BMW probably lost money on the whole deal,  having produced only around 450 cars.   Yet most of the original M1′s survive to this day and are important to BMW’s history: they marked the first official production M-car.

Well, looks like BMW may try it again.  This is the M1 concept that debuted at the Concorso D’Eleganza Villa D’Este in Italy (a BMW-sponsored event).  It is easy to see that the designers worked hard to modernize and then incorporate the original M1 and M1 concept’s design cues.  For example, the new car’s shape and silhouette are nearly identical to the old one, albeit much larger. The rear side windows and rear-end design evoke the old M1, as well.  The wheels and hood louvers definitely pay homage. It’s when you get into the details that the new concept strays.  For instance, the no-grille with double kidneys treatment in the front doesn’t look like anything–ok, maybe a robotic beaver.  From the front and at certain offset angles, the new concept tends to look like a transformer.  It will almost certainly create controversy.  Then again, it is a concept, and that’s what they’re for. 

The bigger question is: what kind of power will it have if indeed a version is put into production?  The obvious choice is BMW M’s 507 bhp V10 from the M5 and M6.  Even better would be the upcoming turbocharged version of that engine, coupled with the new M-DCT dual-clutch sequential manual.  I personally would like to see a lighter car with an enlarged and reinforced version of the N54 six, possibly at 3.8 or so liters pumping out 450 horses.  BMW may even experiment with its new hybrid drivetrain, but the M guys probably would not go for that.  An M V-12 turbodiesel, anyone? 

One thing we all want:  no stupid i-Drive!  More Pics: http://www.worldcarfans.com/9080427.001/bmw-proudly-presents-the-m1-concept-at-villa-d-este

BMW E46 M3 (if you have some money to burn)

Well, if you want the Ultimate Track Weapon, here’s your car, with some modifications.  Now I’ve always considered myself somewhat of a “purist” when it comes to shifting with a real live clutch pedal.  But the SMGII in the E46 M3 blew me away in its most sporting modes.  Whether you use the paddles or use the console shifter, this unit is meant for the track.  And, man is it easy to make this car go fast.  And say what you will about its performance on the street–it’s not an automatic!  Learn how to drive it as a manual without the clutch–find the optimum combination (S4 works well) and modulate the gas every time you shift; downshift through the gears as if it was a real manual.  It works well, and you CAN drive smooth.  Back to the track car.  You will need to reinforce the chassis, and Dinan and Turner Motorsport have just the bits to do it.  Stiffer antiroll bars and possibly a spring and shock or even a coilover setup are needed depending on how intense you want to get.  If you haven’t driven one, try an E46 M3, it has the handling (with a little too much understeer) and the engine–yeah, the S54 six calls you a wuss, begs for more, and keeps delivering more, and more, and more.  Early E46 M3′s are in the 20′s now.  Watch out for cars that do not have the 100,000 mile engine warranty or that haven’t had the rod bearings replaced.  The rod bearings were an early problem that led to failures. 

www.turnermotorsport.com
www.dinancars.com

BMW E30/E30 M3

The supply of these little gems seems to be shrinking.  This was the original M3, designed at and for the track.  It has the E30′s already robust chassis, which is reinforced and upgraded with stiffer springs, anti-roll bars, and shocks.  BMW put a cool (if boy-racerish) looking body kit and rear wing on the car to mimic the cars it was running in various Eurpoean racing series.  The M3 handles very neutrally with some tendency toward oversteer, which makes for tons of fun.  The E30 is hard-wired to the road so you’ll know what it’s doing at all times.  The S14 dual-cam four is short on low-end torque but revs quickly and is smooth (for a 4-banger), so it is a joy to use in spirited driving, as are the Getrag 5-speed and pre-self-adjusting-delay-valved clutch.  If you can find one, the E30 M3 is a great choice.  Prices are all over the place, but you can pick a decent on up with 100K+ miles for around $14K.  The regular E30′s (325 and 318) are also great track cars, and can be bought for a song.  Just get a set of Bilstein Sports, H&R Sport Springs, some Turner Bars, and you have a great start on a track car. 

http://www.turnermotorsport.com/html/show_category.asp?txtsearchParamCat=E30325

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/Rare-Original-Collectible-Classic-1988-BMW-E30-M3_W0QQitemZ200208334827QQihZ010QQcategoryZ6131QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

1994-2000 CHEVY CAMARO/PONTIAC FIREBIRD

You can get ‘em cheap, you can upgrade ‘em cheap, and they offer loads of tail-happy fun.  The newer Ls1 350 V8 breathes better and thus has more power at higher revs, but the old LT1 works well, too.  You can torque your way out of corners easily with either motor, though.  The Firebirds have more body add-ons and better seats, but are otherwise identical.  You’ll need to bolt on a set of subframe connectors for chassis rigidity, because normally these cars have the structrual integrity of a boiled parsnip.  Add a set of Bilstein Coilovers, some stiff bars, big brakes and race seats and a roll cage and you’ll have a decent race car. 

PORSCHE 944/968

These Prosches are among the most neutral-handling cars in the world.  They are solid and strong without modifications, and parts abound for race mods, from mild upgrades to full-bore race car setups.  The 968 is still a bit dear pricewise, but it has a gem of an engine (3.0 liter four with 236 hp).  The 944 Turbos can be modified to produce huge power.   There are plenty of mods out there for these cars, from full competition equipment to weekend driving school warrior-grade. 

MAZDA MIATA

I see tons of these at the track, and for good reason–they are relatively light and handle superbly.  They are convertibles, so they will need roll hoops.  By the same token, you can find all kinds of suspension upgrades to make these little cars handle even better.  They aren’t very fast, but they more than make up for it in sheer cornering ability; so if you’re good at keeping up the momentum, this may be the car for you.

MECHANICAL

So you just bought a brand-spankin new car, and it even has “free maintenance” for 4 years or 50K miles.  First of all, it’s not free.  Nothing’s free, not even dreaming (my apologies to Deborah Harry, but you’re lyrics were wrong).  It is calculated into the price of the car by the manufacturer.  Second, the “maintenance” consists of the minimum amount possible, because the manufacturer is paying for it, and has to keep costs down so they don’t have to raise the price of the car above market.  That said, you do get some oil, wiper blades, brake pads, etc. that you normally would end up paying for.  It is still not enough. 

To properly maintain a car from the mechanical standpoint, you need to folow a regimen.  Engine oil and filter must be changed at the most every 7500 miles for cars running synthetic oil doing highway duty; in any event oil must be changed at least once a year for you garage queens out there.  If your car is new, you should do a “break-in” oil change between 1200 and 2000 miles. Brake fluid needs changing once a year.  Power steering fluid needs changing every two years, as does the fuel filter.  Transmission fluid and filter (automatics) and gear lube (manual) should be changed every 30,000 miles.  The same goes for differential lube.  Change the engine air filter every 15,000-30,000 miles depending on the amount of dust in your climate.  I would recommend using synthetic oils and lubricants, as they do last longer and have better vicosity characteristics than conventional oils.  Brands like Red Line, Royal Purple, Castrol Syntec, Lubro-Moly, Mobil 1, and BMW Long Life are all excellent oils and lubricants.  If you have a limited-slip differential, you need to be sure you are using the correct limited-slip lube or additive; consult the manufacturer of the car.  These regular fluid changes prevent premature component wear and big bills and headaches as the miles rack up.  And remember to check your enging oil every few days–some cars naturally use some oil, and it is important to keep the crankcase full (not overfilled, though).

Some cars have specific mechanical components that require extra attention.  While most of today’s valvetrains are self-adjusting, some still require periodic valve adjustments that go along with a tuneup.  Take the car to a good mechanic or the dealer unless you really enjoy cussing at things and/or can survive Chinese water torture with a smile on your face.  Oftentimes you will see a water pump and/or thermostat fail at a particular mileage on many cars of the same make and model.  It is thus a good idea to replace the water pump just before you arrive at that mileage to prevent being stranded.  The same goes for timing belts–if you don’t replace those, you may end up having to foot the bill for an engine rebuild.  The same rule applies to rubber accessory drive belts and engine hoses.  You need to replace the brake bads when they have 1/8″ or less thickness.  Replace the tires when you can see the wear bars approaching the tread blocks.  You don’t want to risk your braking power or a tire blowout–these are safety issues.  Another safety issue is the air in your tires–check them every few days to be sure they are maintaining pressure within 1 psi of factory specs (usually on a placard in the driver’s doorjamb).  Replace sparkplugs every 50,000 miles, and spark plug boots every 90,000-100,000 as a general rule of thumb.

Here are some good links for fluids and other parts:

www.redlineoil.com
www.bavauto.com
www.royalpurple.com

COSMETIC

You can have a car that is in perfect running order with only 30,000 miles, but it can still look like you just drove it out of a garbage dump.  If you keep it washed and waxed, and maintain the interior, it will last much longer and folks will comment on how new it seems despite the miles you’ve put on it. 

First up is washing.  Wash the car every week, if not sooner.  And don’t run it through an automated carwash or take it to a DIY carwash and use the foamy brush!  The soap will make your plastic headlights hazy and the brushes will scratch any and all shine from your paint finish.  Do not wash the car in direct sunlight. Get a bucket and a hose, or take a bucket to your local DIY carwash.  Clean the bucket first.  Add a capful of car wash soap, like Griot’s Garage, Meguiar’s, or P21S.  Fill the bucket, and rinse the car thoroughly with a strong stream of water.  Use some wheel cleaner from Griot’s, P21S, or BMW on your wet, cool wheels and clean them thoroughly with a soft-bristled brush or microfiber sponge.  Rinse the car again after rinsing your wheels, and make sure your car wash water solution isn’t dirty.  Now begin cleaining the car with a microfiber wash mitt from the top down.  Rinse thoroughly after you wash a section of the car.  Working your way down from the top, be sure to keep your wash mitt clean.  Wash the very rear lower portion of the car last.  Do a final rinse with the hose nozzle romoved, so the water rolls off the car in sheets, making it easier to dry.  Dry the car with some thick microfiber drying towels, Griot’s are the best I’ve found anywhere.  Dry the doorjambs, trunk, gas tank, engine bay and wheels with separate towels.  Have a beer.  You did a good job so far. 

Now, it’s time to work on the paint.  After washing, park the car in a cool dry spot.  You have to prepare the paint first.  The best tool to use is a claybar and some form of lubricant, like a spray detailer to get all the contaminants out of the paint and prepare a smooth surface.  Again, go to Griot’s or Zymol for the best claybar kit.   Spray the detailer and use a small “patty” of the clay, gliding it across the lubricated paint in a criss-cross fashion in a realtively small area.  Wipe the excess off with a microfiber polishing towel.  After completing the entire car, feel how smooth the paint is–no more little “bumps.” Now, time to apply the wax.  Don’t use some synthetic silicone wax.  Use a caranuba-based formula, like Griot’s paste or Best of Show, Collinite No 847, Zymol, or P21S.  Use a microfiber wax pad, and apply in a back-and-forth pattern to one panel of the car at a time.  Allow the wax to become a haze before removing, then move on to the next panel until finished.  Use a microfiber polishing cloth for removal.  Yes, wax your wheels and doorjambs.  Get a chair, some beer, a cigar, and sit down to admire your work. Maybe listen to a little Donnie Iris.  Here are some useful links.  Griot’s is a great one-stop-shop, with some excellent comprehensive car care instructions downloadable in pdf format.

http://www.griotsgarage.com/
http://zymol.com/
http://www.collinite.com/
http://www.meguiars.com/
http://www.donnieiris.com/

INTERIOR

Now that you’ve washed and waxed your car and kept up with the mechanical maintenance, don’t forget the interior.  Interiors especially can get ratty and start to smell bad.  Nobody wants to be in a car with a bad, smelly interior.  I see cars all the time that have a permanent “fog” on the inside of the windows from lack of cleaning and smoking in the car.  This appears to be some sort of redneck badge of honor.  But it’s disgusting.

First up, you want to make sure the interior is clean.  Get some Griot’s Interior Cleaner, and wipe all the dust and dirt off of all surfaces like the dash, leather seats, console, etc.  Once those are clean, vacuum the car’s carpets, seats, and floormats.  Clean out the climate control vents and other little areas with a vent brush, and wipe the excess dust with a microfiber cloth.  Clean the inside of all windows with Stoner’s Invisible Glass and a microfiber cloth.  You can remove various stains from the carpet and other surfaces fairly well with Tuff Stuff carpet cleaner and a toothbrush. Now it’s clean. 

After cleaning, it’s time to protect things.  Start with the leather.  Clean it with Lexol Ph leather cleaner, using a damp sponge to work the cleaner in, and another damp sponge to rinse the cleaner.  Once you dry the seats with a microfiber cloth, apply Lexol Ph leather conditioner and protectant.  Use a sponge, working the conditioner into the leather, and allow it to soak in overnight.  Clean the leather steering wheel rim, shift boot, and e-brake handle and apply the leather conditioner in the same way.  Sounds wierd, I know, but this really does prevent the steering wheel from getting shiny with use and keeps the car looking all that more new after even years of use.  As for the dash and other plastic items, I prefer to use nothing on them.  Most “protectants” will cause cracking in the dash, and make it unnaturally shiny which creates glare in the windshield.  However, Lexol makes Vinylex which is a protectant that won’t crack your dash; use it on your tires as well.  Want to keep your dash from cracking?  Invest in a good sunshade and use it religiously.  Fianlly, apply some of BMW’s Gummipfledge to the rubber seals around the doors about twice a year; it will increase their lifespan and prevent cracking.  As an aside, I don’t recommend getting cloth seats.  They tend to retain smells more and stain easily.  A car with leather keeps a good smell for years, while cloth can smell like McDonalds and stale farts in no time flat. 

http://www.lexol.com/

AUDI

1985-1987 4000CS Quattro:  This is one fun machine, and it looks cool even today.  It has that square “standard car” profile that just works with the blacked-out trim, rear lip spoiler, and Audi badge on the front.  The CSQ handles better than most cars of its day due to its independent rear suspension (lesser 4000′s made do with a beam axle/panhard rod setup).  The all wheel drive system actually has fully lockable differentials, which makes it a de facto 4-wheel drive car.  The system works flawlessly.  The 5-cylinder engine has a unique–in a good way–raspy sound.  Although it only puts out an advertised 115hp/126lbft, the 2.22l fiver actually moves the relatively light 2800lb CSQ along fairly well.  There are some mods for the engine if you look hard enough, like a chip and a cam to bring it to around 150hp.  The better way is to do a little engine-bay surgery and swap in a full turbo five from a wrecked 5000 or even the 20v Turbo from the last of the 200′s.  The interior is rather Spartan but made of first-rate materials, and the grey or brown seats contrasting against the black carpets, dash and console always look good.  Look for a car that has been maintained with regular fluid changes and valve adjustments.  Best color: Oceanic Metallic Blue

1994-1996 S4/S6:  When I first drove the Ur-S4 I was blown away at the turbo’s near-instant response and the car’s overall ride-handling balance.  At 217hp with around 230lbft from 1950 rpm through 4500, the turbo five pulled like a freight train and was flexible as a gumband.  The turbo’s wastegate and cutout valve allowed it to maintain boost between shifts and thus made smooth shifting all the more possible.  The interior is top-notch and stands up well to time and miles.  If you can find one, they’re fairly cheap, too.  Look for a stack of maintenance records, and if possible interrogate the previous owner about how he/she treated the turbo with respect to shutoff procedures.  Plenty of modifications out there, including software that significantly increases boost and therefore power.

 1983 Ur-Quattro:  The original.  The pioneer. The legend.  Good luck finding one.  If you can, snap it up. 

BMW

1988-1991 325ix:  This is your qeue, Satch.  This E30 has its own cult following.   The E30 is a rock-solid and dead-reliable car; some say it is the best car BMW ever made.  The -ix has the standard M20 “baby-six” that was in the other E30′s of the era.  Coupled with an excellent all wheel drive system, this little Bimmer was great in the snow.  Even better, it’s a great platform for an amateur rally car.  They’re light and fun to drive, with the BMW ride-handling balance intact.  The-ix offers lots of road feel and direct handling.  The M20 motivates the car quite well, is smooth and produces great sounds. 

MERCEDES-BENZ

1990 300E 4-Matic:  Huh?  A Mercedes?  Yup.  Mercedes put its 4-Matic all wheel drive system in the W124 300E back in the early ’90′s.  It worked really well.  Now, why do I include this car which still doesn’t seem obvious to someone looking for bargain used all wheel drive?  Simple.  The 300E was possibly the best car Mercedes ever made. It may be the best car EVER made.  This car was designed back when Mercedes over-engineered everything to an unconscionable degree.  Try to kill it.  Just try.  The 4-Matic system was designed at the same time.  Plus, the 300E is a driver’s Benz, with an excellent almost tossable ride-handling balance (relatively speaking).  The inline-6 is the smoothest engine I’ve ever experienced.  The interior holds up for decades with minimal maintenance. 300E’s abound on the used market, with the 4-Matics being a little more rare.  If you can’t find a 4-Matic in decent shape, get a 300E, throw 4 Hakka’s on it and a 50lb sand bag in the trunk, and you’ll be good to go. 

AMC EAGLE

What?  Hey, I almost bought an AMC Eagle 4 x 4 coupe for six hundred bucks when I was a teenager.  It had a 4-speed stick.  It was yellow.  You could smoke cigars in it.  You could take it to the ski slopes.  You could hit a curb and not care.  If you’re into avoiding getting laid, it’s just perfect.  Put a big sound system in it, pull up to the dance, hop out, and start playing air-guitar with the hockey stick you had laying in the front seat to the Dokken tape you’re blasting out of the primo Kraco speakers.  I better quit now….